Let’s Resolute: Processing Possibilities
Ah, January. It's the time of year when calendars are fresh, gyms are packed, and couples everywhere make grandiose promises like, "This year, we're going to improve on conflict resolution" (as if they hadn't already cursed each other out for failing to take the meat out of the freezer last Wednesday).
No time is better for trying something different than the New Year, which signals a chance to consider your relationship’s past year and consider your future together.
I encourage you to try relationship resolutions in 2026.
Mindful Communication
According to Gottman, mindful communication is one of the core habits that keep relationships steady, respectful, and emotionally safe. A few suggestions include listening to what your partner is saying rather than attempting to win the argument, slowing down your reactions when they are speaking to you, and remaining curious about what they are saying rather than becoming defensive. For example, if your husband suggests that you wear a different blouse out to dinner, it doesn’t mean he’s not attracted to you. But maybe…just maybe, it’s time to pitch the burnt orange polyester blend blouse that you wore to your daughter’s open house back in 1989. Just saying…
Set Realistic Expectations
Unrealistic expectations frequently lead to scorn, defensiveness, and criticism—all of which contribute to the negative communication patterns Gottman calls the "Four Horsemen." Establishing reasonable expectations keeps couples connected and lessens the emotional stress that causes discord. For instance, you are setting your relationship up for failure if you expect two people, with chronic IBS, to have flawless Wednesday dinner date nights. Seriously…expecting to go home and make sweet love all night after eating a three-course meal at Tarka Indian Kitchen is farfetched!
Embrace the Process
Gottman's approach emphasizes that disagreements are unavoidable; what’s important is how couples repair and reconnect. Strong couples dedicate themselves to continuous development, healing, and shared meaning rather than striving for perfection. If you’re ready to make some relay-solutions (notice what I did there), decide on what you want to change specifically. The most important factor is that you are both fully committed to reaching the same objective. Shared objectives enable couples to find purpose, comprehend one another's aspirations, and feel as though their paths align.
This can be as simple as agreeing to never eat Indian food on date night. Or have sexy times before you eat!
Relationship resolutions are more about intention than they are about perfection. If you can joke with each other, gossip about the neighbor’s new love interest, or survive IKEA furniture assembly, you’re already winning.
The possibilities are endless.
Happy New Year!!!
My name is Naomi Arceneaux and I am an LPC-Intern at the Center for Couples Counseling. I love working with couples who are ready to stop hiding behind resentment or fear and start showing up with courage and clarity. Even if the future feels uncertain, there’s power in deciding to face it—together. I’m here when you’re looking to bravely move forward. At the Center for Couples Counseling, we specialize in couples therapy, infertility counseling, postpartum mood and anxiety disorders, self-care and burnout, and perfectionism. We help couples and individuals in the League City and Houston areas in person, and all residents of the State of Texas online. Call us at (832) 827-3288 to schedule a free phone consultation.
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Other Services Offered at Center for Couples Counseling
At the Center for Couples Counseling, we understand you or your relationship may be facing different challenges. To help you work on yourself and your relationship, our Texas practice offers individual therapy, infertility counseling, postpartum anxiety, and depression counseling, therapy for self-care and burnout, and therapy for perfectionism. For more about us check out our FAQs and blog!