Posts in Infertility
Transparent but Vague: A Mantra to Get You Through the Holidays

Mantras, Mantras, Mantras…a great way to help you get through tough stuff. Holidays are hard for everyone for many different reasons. Who couldn’t use some additional coping skills for their toolbox?

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Talk about the Tough Stuff: Thanksgiving and Gratitude

What if you can't think of a single thing to put on your gratitude list this year?  When you're going through something hard, being grateful can be draining and feel impossible.  I explore the role of pain, gratitude, and numbing in my latest post, and how to make the most of these feelings as the holidays approach. 

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What is Infertility Counseling?

Have you ever heard of infertility counseling?  Not many people have.  It's something kind of new in terms of therapy, but I've found it to be incredibly effective with people going through infertility.  There are so many emotions and symptoms that come in and out during this journey.  You deserve support, guidance, and acceptance during this process, and a qualified infertility counselor can provide that. 

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What to Expect When You're Not Expecting

Have you ever thought about what it's like to go through infertility until you're facing infertility?  Probably not, unless you have someone close to you that went through it too.  Either way, it's hard to know what to expect from this experience.  This post explores some of this common issues that people are faced with on their infertility journey.  Things will play out differently for everyone, but this will give you an overview of what you may encounter along the way. 

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Infertility Talk: How to Deal with a "Blamer"

The blamer: the person who isn't afraid to ask the questions, who's comfortable hearing the uncomfortable, and sometimes lacks sensitivity.  When you're going through infertility, you'll be met with many different responses.  People won't always say the right things, but understanding their intentions can help diffuse the situation and guide you both in moving forward in a supportive way.  It may feel like you can't lean on anyone, like no one understands you, but if you let someone in they can be there for you.  In this post, I talk about ways to deal with a blamer and turn hurtful conversations into helpful ones.  

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Infertility Talk: How to Deal with an "Existentialist"

Continuing the series, this week I talk about the third type of responder-the "existentialist".  The existentialist is the everything happens for a reason kind of person, helpful in many ways, hurtful in others.  I have some concrete strategies for how to deal with an existentialist and help them meet you where you are, as well as honor your feelings at the present time. 

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Infertility Talk: How to Deal with a Minimizer

"At least you are able to spend time together as a couple now before you have kids."  This comment has been repeated over and over to people going through infertility, as well as "it's going to be ok" "it'll work out, just relax."  In this post I discuss my second type of well-intentioned but a little off base responder: the "minimizer".  I share what minimizing does, how these people are trying to help, and strategies for how to deal with them. 

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Infertility Talk: How to Deal with a "Fixer"

Even if you aren't going through infertility, I bet you've come across a "fixer"...that person that is already 10 steps ahead and into problem solving mode before you've even finished your sentence.  Fixers can be great supporters and awesome friends to have by your side, but there are situations where they're just plain hard to deal with.  I'll give you some concrete tips on how to deal with fixers to avoid hurt feelings, sadness, and prevent resentments. 

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How to #StartAsking About Infertility

It's National Infertility Awareness Week and the theme is "Start Asking".  I hope to increase awareness of issues faced by the infertility community, but also would like to help those who find themselves in a supportive role learn how to start asking the right questions and begin having meaningful conversations around this painful topic.  Read here to learn more.  

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Why It's So Hard to Accept Support During Infertility

After getting my first article published on PsychCentral "Infertility Sucks: 4 Ways to Accept Support from the People Who Love You," I was so excited to share more about the subject.  It's not an easy topic to talk about, and when you're going through it you may find that you push others away.  It's hard to be vulnerable.  I'll explain some common reasons why it's so damn hard to accept help, and once you're ready, you can learn how to accept it. 

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Infertility during Valentine's Day: Making it Less about Sex and More about Connection

Valentine's Day may be focused on sex, but if you're going through infertility sex is the last thing you want to do on your holiday.  In my post, I offer some practical ideas for how to take the pressure off of making V-Day about sex at the end of the evening, and more about the true intention, which is reconnecting with your partner and increasing your intimacy. 

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Why Am I Having Trouble Conceiving when I Already Have a Child? Questions for Your Infertility Counselor

If you were able to get pregnant with ease and you're having difficulty getting pregnant with your next child, you could be experiencing secondary infertility.  Trying to conceive is a stressful process on it's own, let alone experiencing complication when trying to get pregnant.  In this post I answer several questions you may have about why you're having difficulties, how to manage the process, how to be a parent to the child you already have, how to engage your support system, and what to do next. 

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6 Strategies for Dealing with Infertility During the Holidays

If you're going through infertility, the holidays will likely be a challenging time.  You may not even be aware of your emotions or the potential to be put in uncomfortable and stressful situations over the course of the season.  Here I discuss 6 strategies for getting through the holidays, using your support systems, and enjoying your time with your partner. 

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Face Your Fears: Coming Out of the Infertility Closet

Is the fear of failure of judgment holding you back from sharing your struggles with infertility?  Do you find that you are isolating yourself and cutting off social relationships?  It's National Face your Fears Day, and time to reach out for support in your infertility journey. 

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A Cheat Sheet for How to Talk to Your Infertile Friend

If you've even gotten into a conversation about infertility with a friend, it can be difficult, awkward, and anxiety provoking.  Even though infertility is fairly common, society is ill-equipped to talk openly and in helpful ways.  You are well meaning and strive to be a good friend, but unsure of how to navigate the conversation.  Here's a quick cheat sheet to help you get started.

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