Have you ever thought about what it's like to go through infertility until you're facing infertility? Probably not, unless you have someone close to you that went through it too. Either way, it's hard to know what to expect from this experience. This post explores some of this common issues that people are faced with on their infertility journey. Things will play out differently for everyone, but this will give you an overview of what you may encounter along the way.
Continuing the series, this week I talk about the third type of responder-the "existentialist". The existentialist is the everything happens for a reason kind of person, helpful in many ways, hurtful in others. I have some concrete strategies for how to deal with an existentialist and help them meet you where you are, as well as honor your feelings at the present time.
"At least you are able to spend time together as a couple now before you have kids." This comment has been repeated over and over to people going through infertility, as well as "it's going to be ok" "it'll work out, just relax." In this post I discuss my second type of well-intentioned but a little off base responder: the "minimizer". I share what minimizing does, how these people are trying to help, and strategies for how to deal with them.
Even if you aren't going through infertility, I bet you've come across a "fixer"...that person that is already 10 steps ahead and into problem solving mode before you've even finished your sentence. Fixers can be great supporters and awesome friends to have by your side, but there are situations where they're just plain hard to deal with. I'll give you some concrete tips on how to deal with fixers to avoid hurt feelings, sadness, and prevent resentments.
It's National Infertility Awareness Week and the theme is "Start Asking". I hope to increase awareness of issues faced by the infertility community, but also would like to help those who find themselves in a supportive role learn how to start asking the right questions and begin having meaningful conversations around this painful topic. Read here to learn more.
After getting my first article published on PsychCentral "Infertility Sucks: 4 Ways to Accept Support from the People Who Love You," I was so excited to share more about the subject. It's not an easy topic to talk about, and when you're going through it you may find that you push others away. It's hard to be vulnerable. I'll explain some common reasons why it's so damn hard to accept help, and once you're ready, you can learn how to accept it.
Valentine's Day may be focused on sex, but if you're going through infertility sex is the last thing you want to do on your holiday. In my post, I offer some practical ideas for how to take the pressure off of making V-Day about sex at the end of the evening, and more about the true intention, which is reconnecting with your partner and increasing your intimacy.
If you were able to get pregnant with ease and you're having difficulty getting pregnant with your next child, you could be experiencing secondary infertility. Trying to conceive is a stressful process on it's own, let alone experiencing complication when trying to get pregnant. In this post I answer several questions you may have about why you're having difficulties, how to manage the process, how to be a parent to the child you already have, how to engage your support system, and what to do next.
If you're going through infertility, the holidays will likely be a challenging time. You may not even be aware of your emotions or the potential to be put in uncomfortable and stressful situations over the course of the season. Here I discuss 6 strategies for getting through the holidays, using your support systems, and enjoying your time with your partner.
If you've even gotten into a conversation about infertility with a friend, it can be difficult, awkward, and anxiety provoking. Even though infertility is fairly common, society is ill-equipped to talk openly and in helpful ways. You are well meaning and strive to be a good friend, but unsure of how to navigate the conversation. Here's a quick cheat sheet to help you get started.
Are you facing infertility or trouble conceiving? It can be difficult to explain your situation to family and friends, and inevitably they will be asking you questions about when you're having a baby, or another baby, and when they will become grandparents. Learn how to begin talking about infertility so that those difficult conversations don't become hurtful and destructive. You can get the support you need by processing your emotions and communicating your needs clearly.
Infertility is a complex and often misunderstood condition. Infertility does not discriminate, it spans racial, ethnic, cultural, socioeconomic, education, and religious groups and affects approximately 10% of the population. Chances are you know someone facing infertility, but how much do you know about it? Here are five common myths about infertility and the truths you may find fascinating.
Have you ever heard the term "rainbow baby?" A rainbow baby is a baby that is born after a stormy period (infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, etc.). This baby, like a rainbow, is an example that a beautiful gift can come out of a dark time. Infertility is a devastating storm, with one of the most common reactions being isolation. Move through your journey with your partner by you side, each of you providing support for the other. Learn how to join forces with your partner to effectively weather the storm of infertility together.