Have you ever thought about what it's like to go through infertility until you're facing infertility? Probably not, unless you have someone close to you that went through it too. Either way, it's hard to know what to expect from this experience. This post explores some of this common issues that people are faced with on their infertility journey. Things will play out differently for everyone, but this will give you an overview of what you may encounter along the way.
Continuing the series, this week I talk about the third type of responder-the "existentialist". The existentialist is the everything happens for a reason kind of person, helpful in many ways, hurtful in others. I have some concrete strategies for how to deal with an existentialist and help them meet you where you are, as well as honor your feelings at the present time.
"At least you are able to spend time together as a couple now before you have kids." This comment has been repeated over and over to people going through infertility, as well as "it's going to be ok" "it'll work out, just relax." In this post I discuss my second type of well-intentioned but a little off base responder: the "minimizer". I share what minimizing does, how these people are trying to help, and strategies for how to deal with them.
Even if you aren't going through infertility, I bet you've come across a "fixer"...that person that is already 10 steps ahead and into problem solving mode before you've even finished your sentence. Fixers can be great supporters and awesome friends to have by your side, but there are situations where they're just plain hard to deal with. I'll give you some concrete tips on how to deal with fixers to avoid hurt feelings, sadness, and prevent resentments.
It's National Infertility Awareness Week and the theme is "Start Asking". I hope to increase awareness of issues faced by the infertility community, but also would like to help those who find themselves in a supportive role learn how to start asking the right questions and begin having meaningful conversations around this painful topic. Read here to learn more.