Why It's So Hard to Accept Support During Infertility


I was so excited to have an article published on PsychCentral.  In the article, I discuss the importance of being able to accept help from the people in your life that love you when you’re dealing with infertility.  There’s support all around when you really look, but you are likely holding yourself back from accepting that help.  Why is it so difficult to open up to others and accept their support? 

Firstly, the emotions are unpredictable.  You think you’ve experienced the gamete of emotions, and then a new one surfaces.  You don’t know what’s going to trigger a reaction in you.  You’re not sure what other people will say.  You worry that you’re going to make everyone uncomfortable.  You don’t want to burden others with your problems. 

Secondly, infertility is often minimized or ignored.  You’ve tried to bring it up with family or friends, and they jump to trying to fix it or change the subject.  People (likely inadvertently) dismiss your feelings and are uncomfortable sitting with the emotional pain. 

Lastly, no one knows what to say.  Infertility discussions involve medical talk, details of your sex life, and deep seated painful emotions that are not typically brought to the surface in everyday conversations.  You don’t know how to bring it up with your family.  Conversations can get awkward quickly, and actually increase anxiety when pressure is put on you. 

I know it’s really hard to open yourself up fully to the idea of getting support while going through infertility.  It’s one of the hardest times in someone’s life.  Please don’t isolate yourself and retreat inward.  That only causes more loneliness, more outbursts, more inclinations to push others away, more relationship problems, and more health issues.  People are offering you support in many different ways.  Be open to the idea that their support may not look like what you expected.  They’re trying their best.  Have a real heart to heart and meaningful conversation about what you need, what you’re feeling, and how your friend can help you. 

I hope you’ll read my article “Infertility Sucks:  4 Ways to Accept Support from the People Who Love You” to learn about how to accept support even though it’s so damn difficult.  When you’re ready to accept that support, you’ll be so glad you did. 


If any of these ideas resonate with you and you’re struggling with infertility, I encourage you to reach out for professional support as well.  I know you want to keep it all in, but I want you to know I’m here to hear you out and work through the emotions.  Call me for a free phone consultation at (832) 827-3288 and we can discuss if I am a good fit to support you therapeutically.  I am located in the Clear Lake area of Houston, Tx and offer traditional psychotherapy, walk-and-talk therapy, and online therapy those facing infertility.